*Joke*

songofsunset:

inventrix:

0trevskies:

When friends won’t believe they’re cute and perfect

when friends insist that you’re cute and perfect

shhhhhhhh you’re cute and perfect deal with it

officialfrenchtoast:

heart eyes motherfucker

(Source: mf-doom)

officialunitedstates:

tinyvampire:

officialunitedstates:

I like ordering the most expensive thing on the menu but refusing to eat it.  It’s okay, though, because it’s a metaphor.  The metaphor is I’m incredibly wasteful and extremely wealthy.

OMFG HE’S DYING OF CANCER LET HIM DO WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS WITH HIS DAMN CIGARETTES

what are you talking about.  im trying to brag about how ridiculously rich i am

Anonymous asked: hi tell me a lie you told today. then tell me something you wished you said today but didn't.

I wish I told my mom to buy me Taco Bell today

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

(Source: unclefather)

(Source: vinegod)

(Source: zarryforlife)

(Source: larvitarr)

frickmeintheimpala:

sodium fan club meeting 2014

knightscrest:

damn, i just got SERVED. by my waitress. this restaurant is excellent.

(Source: jocelynejunker)

miketooch:

FUKN OWND

(Source: christdookie-resurrection)

oreoofficial:

ahh yes 2014. the 2014th year. 2k14. 2014 years since year 0. the big 2014. the year of 2014. two thousand and fourteen. the ol 20 14

(Source: oreoofficial)